


girls who want boys who like boys to be girls who do boys like they're girls

by HannahPelham



Category: MASH (TV)
Genre: F/M, He/They She/They Solidarity, M/M, Multi, a big old bisexual mess, also he's a bit poly?, also slight he/they vibes for hawkeye, experimenting, she/they margaret, the adventures of hawkeye's bisexuality, very bisexual hawkeye
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 21:55:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29939949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HannahPelham/pseuds/HannahPelham
Summary: An adventure into the bisexuality of Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce of Crabapple Cove, Maine.Title from "Girls & Boys" by Blur
Relationships: "Trapper" John McIntyre/Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce, B. J. Hunnicutt/Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce, B. J. Hunnicutt/Peg Hunnicutt/Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce, Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan/Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	girls who want boys who like boys to be girls who do boys like they're girls

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I hope you enjoy this!
> 
> Un-betad. We die like men.

**Captain John “Trapper” McIntyre**   
  


When Trapper walked into the Swamp on that particular Korean morning, he found his partner-in-crime having an identity crisis. He didn’t know it was an identity crisis at the time, he just assumed Hawkeye had finally cracked and the war had got to him too much. As he walked over, though, he soon learnt otherwise. On Hawkeye’s lap sat a piece of paper, with two pros and cons lists. 

_ Girls _ _   
_ _   
  
_ and

_ Boys _

For a moment, Trapper thought Hawkeye may have accidentally got one of the nurses pregnant, and was weighing up the options, but as he looked a little closer, he realised exactly what it was. He’d had a similar experience in college. The kind of conversation one has with oneself, trying to work out who one is.

Do I like boys or do I like girls or do I like both or do I like neither?

For Trapper, it had been easy enough in college. He’d found a girl and kissed her, and liked it very much. He’d then found a boy and kissed him and liked that very much too. 

“Hey Hawk?” He said quietly, trying not to rouse Frank from the other side of the tent. Trapper saw the instant panic in Hawkeye’s eyes. 

“You’re good, Hawk, don’t worry about me” 

Hawkeye let out a sigh of relief, and looked up at his friend. 

“I, uh…” he started. As he trailed off, Trapper sat down next to him. 

“You know, if you need someone to practice on to work this stuff out, I’m available” He offered. Hawkeye made a face of confusion, and Trapper let out a chuckle.

“Louise?” Hawkeye asked. 

“Louise knows. We have a sort of, uh, kissing girls and boys contract in our marriage. I can kiss all the boys I like, and she can kiss all the girls she likes” Trapper explained. 

Hawkeye didn’t say another word, he simply glanced over to see if Frank was still asleep, which he was, and then leant forward. As his lips met Trapper’s, a sense of calm came over him. It was the first time he’d ever kissed someone of the same gender as him, and it felt right. It felt right when he kissed women, he did it often enough, but this felt right too. It felt the same, so to speak, he couldn’t feel a tangible difference between the two. 

As the kiss deepened, Hawkeye realised two things. 

1 - He was absolutely, definitely bisexual

and 

2 - Whilst he didn’t have feelings towards him, Trapper was a very very good kisser

  
  


**Captain B. J. Hunnicutt**   
  


When the cool, muscled Californian presence of BJ Hunnicutt arrived at the 4077th, Hawkeye didn’t really know what to do with himself. He’d spent the evening before with one of the nurses, and had planned to spend more time with her in the safety of the supply room, but now there was a spanner in the works. A big, blonde, attractive spanner from Mill Valley, California, fresh from residency. 

For a few weeks, whilst BJ was settling into life at the 4077th, Hawkeye tried not to think about how he felt. He could feel something akin to feelings of a romantic nature bubbling up underneath the surface, and whilst normally he’d be excited by the prospect, BJ was an incredibly happily married, and for all intents and purposes, straight man. 

It took one incredibly long and incredibly difficult OR session for Hawkeye to slip up the first time. 

He stumbled into the Swamp, with no real idea of whether it was AM or PM or what time it was. It was dark, so he assumed it was night time. He stumbled about, throwing his clothes wherever he fancied and crashed into the first cot he came across. 

When he woke up the next morning, he realised it had, in fact, been BJ’s cot he’d fallen into, and he soon realised that he had the man in question next to him, an arm draped lazily over Hawkeye’s chest. Hawkeye panicked for a moment and tried to get up, but BJ held onto him. 

“Stay” BJ whispered, “this is nice”

Hawkeye relaxed, and turned his head to look over at BJ. His eyes were still closed, his head moving slightly to rest on Hawkeye’s shoulder.

“You know Beej, I’ve, uh, I’ve wanted this for a while” Hawkeye whispered, wondering if he’d picked the best or worst moment to mention something like this. 

“Me too” BJ replied. The Californian leant up and kissed Hawkeye gently, just a tiny little reassuring kiss, letting Hawkeye know that it was ok, and that he really did want this too. 

Nothing more was said about feelings between them for years. They settled into a routine of sorts. When one was feeling touch starved, was missing home, or just needed someone, they’d seek out the other for a cuddle and a kiss and some affection. It was casual but dedicated, each quietly adoring the other, providing whatever they needed.    
  


**Major Margaret “Hot Lips” Houlihan**   
  


Hawkeye had very complicated feelings towards Major Margaret Houlihan. He was very very attracted to her, but that confused him. He knew in his head he was bisexual, but he also knew he had feelings regarding BJ. He couldn’t quite understand his brain’s logic, but he knew he desperately wanted Margaret. 

“I have feelings for Margaret” Hawkeye said one day over lunch, vaguely in BJ’s direction. 

“I know you do,” BJ replied, he’d noticed incredibly early on in his time at the 4077th that Hawkeye was many things, but subtle was not one of them, “fine by me, by the way”

“What?”

“If you want to try something with her, see if she’s interested, it’s fine by me” BJ explained, smiling at his friend. Hawkeye put his hand on top of BJ’s for a moment, and smiled at him. He had BJ’s blessing, and that was all that mattered. Now he just had to work out how the hell he was going to say anything to Margaret. 

He decided that Margaret’s tent was the quietest and safest place to have the conversation. He walked over, when he thought nobody would see, and knocked on the door quietly. 

“Come in” Margaret called. Hawkeye opened the door and walked in, and was for a moment stunned into silence. Margaret looked more beautiful than she ever had. In reality, she looked the same as normal, but in a silk kimono instead of her normal olive drab uniform. She turned around, and was surprised to see Hawkeye standing there. 

“Now, I’m going to say some things and they’re all very important things and I need you to be not disgusted or angry or anything, but I need to say them” He said. Margaret gestured for him to take a seat on her bed. He sat down and took a deep breath. 

“I think you’re beautiful Margaret, I think you’re fantastic and beautiful and strong and clever and sexy and I have some very strong feelings for you,” Hawkeye started, “and I hope you’re even vaguely interested in me, but there’s some things I have to say surrounding all this. I, uh, have a kind of thing with BJ, we hug and sometimes kiss because we miss home and we miss human touch, and if anything were to happen between us, it’s ok by him, he doesn’t mind, so, uh, I guess that kinda outs me, you know, as bisexual, so if that puts you off then that’s ok, I get it, I understand, I realise I’m not no-”

Margaret cut him off with a quick kiss. 

“You know, Pierce, you really do turn up at the most convenient moments” She whispered as she moved to sit down next to him. They both stared at the floor. 

“Until you said all that,” she said, “I was trying to work out whether I like men at all, really, and I don’t really think I do, but I guess you’re an exception” 

“I’m not sure I really count as an exception, Margaret, I’m only borderline male” Hawkeye replied, in a half joking tone. Margaret knew exactly what he meant. She smiled affectionately, and leant forward to kiss him again. 

**Dr B. J. and Mrs Peg Hunnicutt**   
  


When BJ invited Hawkeye to come and stay for a little while after the war was over, it ended up changing things in more ways than they could imagine. 

It started simply, it was agreed that on his way back to Maine, Hawkeye would spend a couple of weeks with the Hunnicutts, getting used to being back in the States before they were properly wrenched apart for the foreseeable future. He settled into their routine quickly, he played with Erin when BJ and Peg were busy, he made dinner some nights to give Peg some nights off, and he and BJ entertained themselves long into the evenings. 

It also only took a couple of days for BJ and Hawkeye to forget themselves. Hawkeye walked down the stairs to the smell of real coffee, real fresh coffee. As he entered the room, BJ turned around with a mug for him. He took it gratefully, and thanked BJ with a gentle kiss. It was the first time they’d kissed since they’d returned home. 

When Hawkeye pulled away, he was very aware of the presence of somebody behind him. He turned around slowly, and saw Peg standing there with a fond smile on her face. He was incredibly confused. 

“Peg, I am so sor-”

Hawkeye was cut off by both Peg and BJ laughing. 

“You think I didn’t know? BJ spent the whole war writing home about you, Hawkeye, it’s absolutely fine by us” Peg explained. She walked over and kissed Hawkeye’s cheek gently, very close to the corner of his mouth. 

It was then that Hawkeye realised what was happening. He smiled and kissed BJ again, before turning his attention to Peg. His first kiss with Peg Hunnicutt was incredibly sweet but very awkward, it felt wrong to be kissing BJ’s wife, but once he had kissed her, it felt right. 

It all fell into place very quickly. It had been BJ and Peg before Korea, BJ and Hawkeye in Korea, Hawkeye and Margaret in Korea, and BJ and Hawkeye and Peg after Korea. It worked for them, and Hawkeye wouldn’t change a thing about it. 


End file.
